Setbacks Happen, as does Filmmaking

Here’s a hot tip for aspiring filmmakers: adapt and overcome. I think that’s some sort of Marine motto, but please don’t assume I equate Marine discipline with guerilla filmmaking, because I’m well aware that those dudes wake up entirely too early, and yet I’ll give credit to where credit is due and steal their infamous motto in the process. What’s to adapt you might ask? Not the story. The script must remain relatively unscathed by the bumps in the road paved with uncertainty. Instead, the most adaptable element of a micro-budget masterpiece must be scheduling. I’ve made three shooting schedules in the past week alone, and I’d be a fool to think that shit won’t change tomorrow. When coordinating over a dozen degenerates to fabricate the fictitious sexual misgivings of a cock-faced killer, there’s bound to be some cerebral misgivings for the yahoo behind said coordination (that be me). If this post is confusing, dare I say it’s a perfect post, because I haven’t the slightest idea where to go from here except forward – making a movie that only needs to be made because we shook hands on it (or did we?).

i said shake my hand... careful with that thing

            To follow up from the previous blog post, we’ve reached a magnificent 22% of our fundraising goal via Kickstarter, which would be a more magnificent amount if we weren’t a mere 5 days away from the deadline. Honestly, I’m flattered that so many people stepped up and donated. To those of you who’ve put it off till another day, don’t wait any longer. To those of you who’ve already contributed, rest assured that your gesture is duly noted and greatly appreciated!

            We shot a few more elements this week. These are not whole scenes mind you, but are elements of larger scenes that must be shot out of order in a different location from where the bulk of the scene takes place. The real heavy shooting begins in just two weeks, right after we get some air conditioning installed on the set. With a proud thump to the chest I boast that we are indeed making progress; as girls are getting naked, the sets are looking perfectly absurd, and we’re inching closer to drowning Cockface in blood. With or without a budget, Terror Optics promises its fans and reluctant associates a Grimewave.  

            In summary of the previous week, the crowd-sourcing fundraising stuff isn’t quite working out for Grimewave as I write this. Perhaps things will change, and I cross my fingers for a generosity and a budget, or perhaps we will have to shoot the movie sans budget and max out my credit. Regardless of how the film is financed, I promise the loyal fans of Cockface a new tale of perversion and murder. Not everyone I know is free at all hours of the day to help me unfold this tale. Try as we may to upset the norm, Terror Optics has always encountered a goodly force working against our portrayals of debauch, prompting us all the more to work against these inevitable setbacks. By the time the Kickstarter fundraising campaign has come to an end, for good or ill, we’re gonna have a pool party at Terror Optics Headquarters to celebrate all that we’ve orchestrated thus far, knowing full well that we’re making a movie that frees us all from the shackles of morality and proves to the world that life must go on… unless the Cockface Killer deems otherwise. Cheers.

If Filmmaking Were Easy...

I don’t really have anything smart or clever to add as a continuation to the title of this blog; because filmmaking isn’t easy, at least not the ridiculous shit Terror Optics calls filmmaking. We do need to update our fans and enemies across the webisphere on or latest doings, so read along and I’ll try to make the stressful uncertainty of micro-budget sexploitation seem somewhat quaint, although quaint is also a synonym for peculiar, so perhaps I should reach for an even more positive connotation. Nah… quaint will have to do.

the peculiar casting process of Terror Optics

Kickstarter is on up and up. With a little over two weeks to go, we’ve already amassed a whopping 7% of our goal. I like to think that the windfall will occur any day now, or as soon as I find it necessary to grovel to those more fortunate in the ways of finances and livelihood. Seems like every time we post an update, some generous soul decides to pitch in, and we thank all of you who’ve thus far decided that the Cockface Killer deserves a shot of Maker’s Mark for a job well done shoving his chin phallus into both animate and inanimate objects.

So what the fuck have we been doing with all our time… mostly casting. I’ve personally attended a small number of casting calls over the years. Honestly, I find acting more of a challenge than an interest, so acting isn’t something I’ve ever truly pursued, but it is certainly an enjoyable occupation. My recollections of casting calls, however, are mostly repulsive enough to dissuade me from ever pursuing the profession seriously, but I’ll leave those stories of shame and pity for another post. For now, I must confess that we’ve spent far too much time trying to fill the few remaining roles we have left, and that these roles are indeed crucial for the project to move any further, and yet move further we must. My ultimate goal is to make final decisions for the cast by this Sunday, meaning my week is packed with more coffee and lunch dates with strangers where I’ll be forced to kindly ask provocative questions that would usually garner a slap to the face. Boobs and butts required from the ladies as you all well know, and it just works better when you come right out and ask how comfortable a girl is with showing you her landing strip.

Indeed, if filmmaking were easy I’d probably find something more ridiculously humbling to do with my life. Some people have successful careers, some people have successful relationships, and some people are good at making sexploitation films. Being as my track record of the former two is beyond dreadful, I hope we can all work together at achieving the latter. I certainly cannot do it alone (although I have acted in drag once before), and I’m asking all those interested in the comical misfortune of the Cockface Killer to join me in the mission for making the great sexploitation film we so lovingly refer to as Grimewave. Cheers!

Kickstarted

Indeed, three days into the Terror Optics fundraising extravaganza and we’ve already raised $40, which is more than enough to buy a gallon of fake blood, yet not quite enough to pay for the boobs that said blood needs a slathering. I may be mistaken in my conviction that fans across the globe are desperate to see a new Cockface movie, but perhaps times are tough, or rent is due, or no one in my family wants me to keep making these quasi-pornos, or maybe – just maybe – patience is the true virtue which shall pay high dividends when angel investors catch of whiff of what Grimewave has to offer in the erotic stench department.

Let it be know from this point forward that I’m very well aware of how fundraising works, and the hunch here at Terror Optics Studios is that we need to continue to add content to our Kickstarter page to extract the money from friends and strangers alike. This blog is the first of what should evolve into beaux coup updates on the status of Grimewave. Allow me to provide said updates for said investors in the form a picture.

Given Goodhead - wait till you see her from behind

Yesterday was spent cleaning up and dressing sets, cleaning being the not so glamorous and not nearly as interesting part of the day, and dressing being the exciting part of the day as it happened to feel more like making a movie than working as a janitor. We also played around with some equipment and brought in two of our central characters for read-through and camera tests, hence the beautiful blond above (who wasn’t too thrilled about an impromptu camera test). Things were going along very smoothly, so we sent the screenwriter out on a beer run (screenwriters being notorious in their ability to both being useless on set and having a nose for booze).

As Matt searched for the elusive six-pack of LA-31, which I’m guessing isn’t for sale in St. Bernard Parish if even a screenwriter can’t find it; we were blessed with the far more exciting introduction to who may be our leading actress for Grimewave. Sometimes it only takes a phone call, and WOW there’s a sexy Asian chick reading the part for your sexploitation film. This truly is the land of opportunity. I’ll know more specifics regarding her interest and unyielding dedication as the week unfolds, but I think we found the perfect leading lady. This means it’s time to schedule filming, as I no longer have the excuse, “we need to find the perfect leading lady.” as my defense for putting off the overwhelming task of scheduling. Rightly so, this time waits for no one, so I think I’m gonna grab some coffee and play on the internet… but then I’m gonna schedule some filming…I promise. Cheers.

Begging isn't Just for the Corner

After much deliberation and a hint of effort, Terror Optics has decided to start a Kickstarter page in attempt to afford the already expensive Grimewave. As some of you readers may already know, Grimewave is to our upcoming feature film project, and we’ve already begun building sets (spending money) with confidence in finding people to actually do the ridiculous shit we’ve got planned to shoot. Kickstarter is a program where you ask for X amount of dollars, people pledge funding, and you get cash IF you meet your goal (more likely an online transfer, but it’s almost as good as cash).

carbombs are kinda like craft services, only more filling

We’re asking for $5,000. That’s twice the budget of Cockface 1, but a quarter of the budget for Cockface 2. We’ve decided to feed the cast and crew, and more importantly pay people who aren’t part of the volunteer Terror Optics family. The family is ever dwindling due to aging, baby making, and my waning charisma, but that’s a topic for another post. Suffice to say that not everyone can spend half the week slipping around in blood puddles without the nagging concern of paying rent on the first of the month. The money will not be spent on equipment, being as we’ve got a bunch of equipment already, and I emphasize this proclamation because I know wholeheartedly that we don’t need tens of thousands of dollars as is the norm for most Kickstarter film projects. We really just need money for a few people to justify sacrificing time from work and, more importantly, for craft services.

I’m going out on a limb posting this blog entry today. We have yet to submit our project for review, and Kickstarter may very well reject our project. On the surface, Grimewave’s satirical take on pornography and horror doesn’t translate well when you take a quick glance at the Cockface Killer. I can only hope that the folks at Kickstarter look past the dildo flopping around and don’t assume we hold ill intentions. If Grimewave does get rejected, at least we tried, but we’ll still go through with production, which leads me to my final thought in the post…

I’m personally uncomfortable with asking people for money. The vast majority of people who would donate are friends and family, and these people would be donating to a cause that I take full responsibility to seeing into completion. That is a stressful commitment. Mind you, a feature length project isn’t something to be approached half-assed, and baring only natural disasters and military intervention would we not complete the project. It’s more knowing that I’ll be beholden to those people I love. After mulling over this concept for months, hence the really really late start in fundraising, I came to one very important realization… every project generates a debt of gratitude, and taking money is no different. In the past, projects had to be completed to pay back all those involved for the time they sacrificed. When you make a guerilla sexploitation movie, you’re taking away the leisure time of all those involved. As with all of our previous projects, most people are volunteering their time. Their time is just as, if not more so, valuable than the money donated to the cause. So, I’ll take some money from the generous fans of Cockface, and I’ll deliver a movie the likes of which has never been seen… yet. Cheers.

Titles Don't Matter, Content Matters

I think we proved this adage wrong with Attack of the Cockface Killer, a title that still gets more attention than it deserves, but one that proves how a title can be more important than the film’s artistic content. If you don’t agree with this statement, ask yourself how eager you’d be to watch the same shitty movie if it were titled Attack of the Mongoloid, because that was an alternate title and it just wasn’t as catchy. Anyway, we settled on a title for Cockface 3… Grimewave. When I say “we” agreed, I didn’t actually ask anyone, but the title is appropriate so fuck ‘em. Grimewave fits the plot, as the story revolves around a bunch of gangs and they’re all grimey (which isn’t a word in the Oxford English dictionary, but I don’t like the word grimy because there should be an “e” damnit).

To be very honest and clear with you dear readers, I’d rather just call the movie Fuck the Cockface Killer, a title that seems appropriate to me in that it’s general enough regarding the plot so as not to give too much away, but it also references the title character of the movie and provides some context as to what genre of film your getting yourself into. Grimewave doesn’t outright convey the idea that it’s a sexploitation film, so more people might (accidentally) push play, but for some fucking reason distributors don’t like titles with the words “fuck” and “cock”, as if those words didn’t grab the audience’s attention.

We’ve batted around potential titles for Cockface 3 for over a year now (Cockface 3 always being a strong contender, but that whole “cock” thing ruins everything). So, maybe titles don’t matter as much as content IF (and only if) the content is worth a damn. Truthfully, I’m confident in the story, humor, and horror of the Grimewave script. Whether or not we can turn the text into moving pictures with the same effect remains to be seen, but I’m not gonna trade the potential exposure the movie merits via artistic license by calling the movie Blood Hole, which was my favorite title next to Cult of the Cockatrice. Although not the catchiest title in the history of film, Grimewave will make a ton of sense to anyone who watches the movie and it shouldn’t red flag us in the eyes of the filmmaking community (and you know how much I crave the acceptance of my fellow filmmakers – that is, in the way that they can suck my balls).

Cheers.